Franqueensense

A new ladies line from United Arrows.

How did they come up with such a catchy and succinct name? They took everyone’s favorite Jesus-friendly aromatic resin frankincense, replaced the “kin” part with “queen,” and then changed the “cense” to “sense” to indicate “having good sense.”

Now, I don’t mean to be sacrilegious or anything, but I don’t think the “kin” in frankincense is supposed to be “king” without the final g. The word is clearly a combination of “Frank” and “incense.” At this rate, the sister brand to Franqueensense is going to be Mxxrrh. Or maybe Fucqueen.

On rainy days, the Inokashira train line smells exactly like a 1970s era school bus.

The fine folks at QOOB have commissioned myself and 9 others to create original new short films promoting Alfa Romeo’s new car, the Mi.To. These films are the kickoff to a large film-making contest and a larger ad campaign.

Audio Dregs head honcho and all-time homie numero uno E*Rock kicked down a smoking original track for the video.

Thanks, QOOB!

My new album Forty Years from Now is finally out! The first quote-unquote single “Cat vs. Mouse” is available for free download and features vocals from UT of the band Kiiiiiii and production from Pandatone. The twelve-song album was recorded, mixed, and mastered in various recording studios and bedrooms across Tokyo and New York City.

For those interested in purchasing a physical copy, either order from my label Music Related or retailers like Other Music, Darla, DotShop (Sweden), Parasol, Warszawa (Japan), and HMV Japan. (Those U.S.-residents ordering from Music Related get a free orange-vinyl 7″ from Japanese picopop bands MacDonald Duck Eclair and Micro Mach Machine.) Digital downloads are available from Other Music, Amazon, Boomkat (UK), Rhapsody, and iTunes. (Those links go directly to my album page where you can hear samples of the tracks.)

Thanks to Néojaponisme Art Director Ian Lynam for the cover design.

I guess many MのT readers are also subscribed to Itai News, but this pile-on is too beautiful to go unnoticed. Let me break it down:

1. Ueno Zoo’s last panda, Ling Ling, dies.
2. Beloved Tokyo governor Ishihara Shintarō says “It’s not like it’s a sacred artifact or anything, does it really matter whether we have a panda or not?” (御神体じゃないんだから、いてもいなくてもいいんじゃないの) and “Look, living things die. That has to include pandas, right? The world’s getting smaller, so if you want to see one go to where they are and take a look.” (生きてるものは死ぬんだから。パンダだって死ぬだろうし。世界は狭くなったんだから、見たけりゃいるとこ行って見てきたらいい)
3. Panda merchandisers outraged: “Why would [he] say such a thing when everyone loved that panda so much?” asks a woman working at Sakuragi-tei, which sells “panda-yaki”. (Her words are described as a “KY [kūki yome] outburst”. Work it, Yomiuri!) Kono Shinji, “panda sable” vendor, warns that the governor is ignoring the “national sentiment” (国民感情).
4. 2ch posters outraged at the outrage: “Why should we have to keep a panda just so these stores can stay in business?” “Who are you to decide what the national sentiment is?” I knew those 2channelers were contrary, but damn. They don’t even like adorable, cuddly pandas!
5. Replenishing the zoo’s panda supply would mean renting one from China, a prospect at which, according to the Yomiuri, the phones at Ueno Zoo are ringing off the hook: “Panda rental is too expensive” (Kobe Zoo is apparently paying ¥100,000,000 per year for their pandas, and not earning it back), “I don’t want to rent a panda from China [because they are oppressing Tibet]”, etc. I note in passing that no proof, names, or hard figures on call volume are offered for this part of the story.

Ueno Zoo must know that they ain’t ever gonna recapture the magic of the 1986 birth of Tong Tong. The Bubble is over, the kids are mopey and don’t go on healthy, sweater-wearing dates to the zoo any more… but pandas are Ueno Zoo’s thing. What else are they gonna do?

Tonight in Los Angeles: A celebration of ten years of LOST, L.A.’s primero graffiti magazine, celebrating the anniversary and the release of the new LOST book.

The book contains highlights of the past decade editor/designer EyeOne has spent documenting LA writing. Includes imagery by Atlas (if you haven’t caught the documentary on his work, watch it now!), Pale, Cab, Haeler, and more. Screenprinted board covers, numbered limited edition of 2000.

Even if you are not a graffiti fan per se, the LOST book is a must-have for folks interested in Angeleno culture. More about LOST here.

LOST is a picture-perfect example of designer as author. I’m proud to have written the foreword for it.

肥留間正明の芸能斜め斬り フジは制作費5%カット テレビ局の大不況
(”Hiruma Masaaki’s Slanted Take on the Entertainment World: Fuji has cut production budgets 5%, TV’s Great Depression”)

If you thought that Japanese TV could not get less ambitious, I beg you to flip the switch and take a look at what passes for Prime Time. The beloved “variety show” hinges on its stable of “personalities,” and TV stations evidently can no longer afford anyone approaching funny. Dandy Sakano seemed like a low point a few years ago, but he’s Oe Kenzaburo in comparison to today’s hooligans.

But enough of my objective commentary. Professional TV critic Hiruma’s got some facts for us:

• TV stations are having a hard-time finding sponsors, and program sponsors want more on-air time for their products
• A decade ago, program success meant a 20% share. Now a passing grade is 12% and dropping.
• Hiruma blames low quality of TV for the drop in viewership. (Maybe Japanese networks should, I dunno, consider reforming their conception of “programming” that has not changed since the late 1950s and filming in Beta-cams that have not changed since the late 1980s…) But here we get the negative feedback loop: lower viewers means lower budgets, lower budgets means worse talent, worse talent means worse shows, worse shows means lower viewership, und so weiter.
• Variety shows are using “announcers” to host shows, since they are salaried and cost less than hiring talent from production companies.
• Youth are not watching TV.
• Television station salaries are still some of the highest in Japan, while programming production is being fished out to companies that only pay employees ¥2 mil a year.

Recently, I have taken to watch a lot of Discovery Channel programming through cable. Mythbusters and Man vs. Wild seem like perfect models for Japanese network TV, but I guess you would have to actually find individuals with interesting skills and Japanese talent agencies don’t really do the “skill” thing. Oh wait, they have that girl that eats a lot and that other guy who is half-Japanese…

Gin, Television, and Social Surplus

Many may have read this essay by now, but I wonder how much its lessons apply to Japan. J-youth are watching less and less TV, but is there a concrete place where that energy is going besides 2-ch? Japanese Wikipedia isn’t bad, but has yet to reach a peak of activity. Is the idea of “creating public content for free” with your leisure time even an idea that exists within Japan? How could something that doesn’t cost money be worth anything?

Also:

“Here’s something four-year-olds know: A screen that ships without a mouse ships broken. “

This is certainly not true in Japan. You have to be a 40 year-old white-collar employee to have ever seen a real-deal personal computer. I have come to the conclusion that the cell phone in Japan is not a sign of advanced technology, but a “patch” to bring internet functions to those who cannot get access to computers. That is how it works in the Third World, why not with the “refugees of affluence” (豊か難民) of Japanese Gen-Y?